WHERE HAVE ALL OUR LEADERS' HEARTS GONE?

by Sharon Lamm, Ed.D.
 

I must thank my anger and compassion for the impetus to write this article. When Isabel invited me to write an article, I was going to write about stress management and then I realized I am stressed about another issue and was guided to write about "Where are the hearts in our leaders today?"

I am tired of hearing about the firing of leaders for sexual harassment and ethical scandals like Enron and Tyco. It leaves me with a critical question that stresses me out in a positive sense because it is encouraging me to take action. Where have all our leaders' hearts gone?  

For years I thought anger was a "bad" negative emotion and tried not to feel or express it.  Now I can see a healthy expression of anger is often a motivator to help take passionate and committed action. I am choosing to take action through writing this article, a book, and focusing my executive coaching on opening leaders' hearts to their own humanity. 

The truth is that stuff (a technical term) happening in our country is unacceptable for me. I have coached senior executives for 20 years around the globe and I am tired of hearing that they are "maxed out" on anti-depressant medication and still feel crappy. I feel sadness when I hear most of my executive's spouses are ready to leave them because they are tired of raising families by themselves, continuously moving around, and never seeing their husbands (which most executives are). I can't blame their spouses as I would leave a situation like that as well yet we see corporations expecting this of their people. When you give your soul to the corporation you become a high potential and on the fast track.

Then we wonder why we see Enron's, Tyco's, and sexual harassment by corporate and political leaders? One possible explanation I see is that leaders who give so much may be burned out and just want to feel some love, whether that is through money, human love, or making their way up the corporate ladder. Isn't this basically the human condition - that we all want to feel loved, appreciated, and valued for who we are? So what can we do?

I have to thank organizations like LIM and MiL for doing it. In 2000 I completed my doctoral dissertation on the connection between Action Reflection Learning and transformative learning. Action learning is one leadership development methodology that really helps leaders open their hearts. The human heart is where love lives and where qualities such as humility, compassion, inclusiveness, tolerance, empathy live. When we enter our hearts and make choices from here, we can make more informed and service-oriented choices.

In my dissertation, I studied the Volvo Truck Management Program which LIM and MiL collaborated on facilitating and designing. It was a nine-month program with four program weeks in different parts of the world. Diverse (cultural, functional, gender) project teams worked on real business problems and presented their recommendations to executive management at the end of the program. Workshops, seminars and just-in time learning reflection also helped the teams learn and participants had practice opportunities back on the job between the program weeks.

I am simply amazed at the way this program helped leaders to open their hearts. Mike (a pseudonym), one of the program's participants, illustrates becoming more tolerant when he says,
 

Sunny, shows how his heart opened in inclusiveness to feel more part of the human race,
 

Lance who admitted to being one of the most arrogant people before the program awakened his heart in humility,
 

Lindsay opened the beautiful heart quality of courage when he shared,
 

The continuous action and reflection in the program helped Castle and many other participants open their hearts in patience,
 

Gentle provides an example of how many participants became more empathic,
 

The Dalai Lama (1998) believes that fostering the virtues of patience, empathy, tolerance, and humility is all about awakening the human heart. Some would argue these qualities are more feminine than masculine but perhaps they are simply human qualities that we learn to neglect because of our busy schedules?
 

Perhaps executives have such busy schedules that they forget to connect with their hearts on a daily, weekly, monthly or yearly basis. Forgetting to connect with our heart may lead to mindless unethical actions like Enron and Tyco or sexually harassing a female executive. They are often so burned out they have no time to be with their hearts. As Lyle, a Volvo Truck program participant, said,
 

Lyle's emotional heart sharing actually caused Castle to make a change in his life, as Castle shared,
 

As Gentle said, "I think I am not ignoring my wife in the same way I did before. I take my time to sit down and talk much more. Before the program, I came home and I could just go around being mad and angry and frustrated and she could not talk with me."

Lindeman, an adult educator from the early 20^th century, wrote in 1926 about his belief that if adult educators did nothing else but make adults enjoy their leisure time more, it would be a great service to humanity. Stephen Covey considered that a manager's life outside the workplace is as important to effectiveness as is the learning of specific skills. My research of the Volvo Truck ARL program showed that improvement in personal lives actually increased work effectiveness versus decreasing it and in some cases it increased company loyalty.

I write this article to thank and appreciate organizations like LIM and MiL who are doing great work to help make this world a better place. Our world needs all the help it can get. You are helping leaders to open their hearts to increasing levels of humility, tolerance, empathy, patience and their humanity, which hopefully is helping them make more informed, compassionate and loving choices.  

I only wish political leaders could have the opportunity to participate in an ARL program. Think about how our world could change if leaders were able to say, hey I made some mistakes, I thought I was right but I was wrong and I did not listen or value others' inputs. I guess you can tell where my political bias and beliefs are. LIM and MiL - any thoughts about taking Action Reflection Learning to the political arena? Perhaps it could stop war and encourage peace. 
 

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References

Covey, S. (1990). Principle-centered leadership. New York: Simon and Schuster, Inc.

Dalai Lama, H. H., & Cutler, H. C. (1998). The art of happiness. New York: Riverhead Books.

Lamm, S. L. (2000). The connection between Action Reflection Learning and transformative learning: An awakening of human qualities in leadership. Unpublished doctoral dissertation, Teachers College, Columbia University.

Lindeman, E. C. (1961). The meaning of Adult Education. Canada: Harvest House, Ltd.